everything I never said (an open letter)
I remember the day we met like it was yesterday. Our eyes met, and I literally felt my heart beat out of my chest. It was the first time we had ever seen each other but somehow you seemed so familiar. Weird. I had never felt this before.
Instantly. We clicked. We talked. Instantly. It felt right. It felt real. Instantly. You felt it too. You said it yourself. It was instant, and it was stronger than anything you had ever felt before. Instantly. You went from a stranger to more. You knew how to get a laugh out of me with just one look. You knew. I knew what you were thinking when we'd be in a crowded room. It was instant. It was strong.
We shared our dreams, our hopes for the future. Things like how we'd slowly been morphing into our parents even though we never thought we would. I brought the best out of you and you brought the best out of me. I made anything seem possible and within reach. You understood me. You got and accepted every part of me. Something I'd been too afraid I'd never find in this lifetime. I fell. Instantly. But I was scared
I was scared of how much you meant to me. I didn't understand how you and I could make it work. We were too different. But I could never say that. So instead, I put my wall up. Naturally, you pulled away.
Instantly. You went from everything to nothing. Instantly. We couldn't talk with our words, so we'd just stare with our eyes. Always wanting to say something but not knowing what to say or where to start. We were the same people, but everything changed. Instantly.
I look back now, and I play it back in my head over and over. Was it my fault? Could I have been more open about how I felt? Was it your fault? Could you have fought for us?
The thing is, I knew. I knew the fall would hurt. It did. It still does. I knew. But, I jumped. And the truth is, I would do it all over again.
- Natalie K
"I Wish it was You" is out on all digital platforms now! Go to my music page and check it out today!